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Friday, April 30, 2010

Ilka's Attic -- Mixed-Media Artist Susan Tuttle: a morning walk and BOOK GIVEAWAY!#links

Ilka's Attic -- Mixed-Media Artist Susan Tuttle: a morning walk and BOOK GIVEAWAY!#links

Re-learning: from the Beginning

The other day I picked up a pencil and my sketch book and began "drawing" a person; a character out of my head. I used to be able to draw without thinking. I could take a photo and copy it to a tee. In my 10th grade Art class I brought a picture of my brother, Steve, and did a pastel portrait of him. I got an "A" on it and my teacher kept it to use as part of her future lessons on how to do a pastel portrait the right way (her words, not mine). That was my first portrait and not my last. I haven't drawn like that in a very long time. I am a painter at heart, so when I tried to draw this "person" I failed terribly. I got really down on myself saying that I should just quit this journey of re-finding myself. It was a bad moment in my day. I really am my own worst critic. Then I reallized that I had not been practicing for years. Even the most seasoned artists "practice" daily, even if it's by doing "real" work/art. One cannot learn something and then never practice it over a great deal of time and then expect to pick it up one day and be perfect. A musician practices hours every day in order to create the perfect performance. I was really down on myself but then I picked myself up, walked upstairs to my studio and rummaged through all the books that I have. I found a "beginners" drawing lesson book, 10 lessons, and decided to start over. It's okay to start over in order to move on. I am going to go forward in my journey to re-find myself and I am not going to be ashamed to start from the beginning. It's okay.

Yesterday I found out that I have Type 2 diabetes. I now have to re-learn eating, cooking, shopping and exercising. I have to re-learn how I see myself. I have a chance to re-make myself health-wise along with my art. It's not true that you "can't teach an old dog new tricks". I have to learn and I'm not too old to do so.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Keys to Achieving your Goals

Happy Birthday to Me!

My son brought home a huge envelope of papers that he had in his desk. In it was a notice from the lunch lady that we owed money. Thanks Noah for letting me know!!! Kids and their desks. Noah is so compulsive about clean rooms that I get surprised when I find out how much stuff he can cram into his desk.

One paper that was in this stack stood out to me. Its title was "5 Keys to Achieving your Goals". Wow, this is 4th grade and he is learning the same thing that I am trying to learn at 51. I thought that this list was a great addition to this blog. I have many blocks to achieving my own goals and I'm sure that others have their own blocks. These ideas are very basic but true.

1. Appreciate yourself and believe in yourself.
2. Understand your strengths and weaknesses.
3. Be enthusiastic.
4. Develop self discipline.
5. Build a better you.

What I notice about this list is that these items are directed inward. We need to start with how we see ourselves, not how others see us. This is the most difficult step in finding our way down our path to our future. We are talented and our talents will always be there, but if we see ourselves as unworthy then we will never take that first step. We need to do what we can to build a better us. It's hard to not look at ourselves through the eyes of others but that is what we need to do. We really need to see ourselves through the eyes of God who sees us as simply "loved".

Begin walking the path to a better view of yourself. You are talented, beautiful, wonderful.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

april's new dawn

You know you are getting old when you and your friend are talking about hot flashes, mood swings, depression and the differences between line and no line bifocals! With my 51st birthday fast approaching, the knowledge that I am living in the second half of my life has found me reassessing how I see my future. Yes, those on the other side of 50 have a future! While many have found their paths early in life, I did not. At 50 I still don't know what path to take or what direction to go. My love of art, paints and fabric are constantly pushing me to move forward. My fear of failure keeps my feet firmly planted. But that doesn't keep my mind from dreaming.

My hope in beginning this blog is to put movement to my dreams and get myself on the path to my future. I also hope to speak to others who live in a world like mine. Filled with a love of anything artistic being held back by fear. We must walk forward even if we change our direction along the way, we just need to move our feet. I hope you will help me when my feet fail to move and I hope to do the same for you.

Welcome to my new dawn.